Dum ... da dum dum ...

I have no patience. My wife and mother are rolling their eyes at this admission. The word that surely comes to their minds: Duh! Yet through the years, most folks I work with will tell you I have a ton a patience. They don't know what's boiling just below the surface. ...
I've been on a slow boil all weekend. I had a PET scan Friday. It will reveal whether or not the monster I have in my body is contained in my lung. I find out late tomorrow afternoon. The results will ... well, I'm sure you can figure it out for yourself. ...
The day Lynn and I married, I woke up that morning and puked. Fear underneath the surface. The day my daughter was born, I woke up that morning and puked. Fear underneath the surface. Both events were positive, no reason for apprehension.
The evening before I was to begin my radiation treatment for this monster in my lung, I puked and spit up blood like crazy. The treatments so far have been a breeze.
Pending tomorrow's results, I haven't puked, but I haven't had a great weekend either. Fear of the unknown, I'm sure.
Last night produced little sleep ~ for me or my wife. I had the first night sweats my surgeon told me would eventually catch up with me. I've been coughing my head off (OK, my head hasn't really come off; I figure if it did it would only happen once and then my cough would stop). I used oxygen for the first time in two weeks. And I'm sure I'll have to use it tonight to get to sleep.
My chest feels like the Atlantic Ocean is inside it. As I breathe out, the tide comes in; as I breathe in, the tide rolls out. The wheezing sounds like a winter wind whipping through a hollow (pronounced holler where I come from) lined with trees with bare branches.
Waiting ... waiting ... waiting. I don't do it well. I dread the results, but I need to know. I pray that the news will be good. I'm neither positive nor negative. Numb. I just don't know. I know people of all faiths are praying for me. It is a comfort. Thank you. ...
Don't ask me why, but I have the need to mention this:
I have six grandnieces and no grandnephews. Why?