The party's over now

It's been a rough few days. But I've had my pity party. Now it's time to start thinking about getting on with chemotherapy next week and moving forward with my radiation treatments. As Richard Bach said, "An easy life doesn't teach us anything. In the end it's the learning that matters: what we've learned and how we've grown."

Not great, but better

Took a shot of Neupogen today, and I'll take more on Saturday and Sunday. It's supposed to pump up my white blood cell count, which was knocked down by my last cycle of chemotherapy. We'll check the blood again Monday and see if I can resume taking my radiation treatments. I hope so. I have 29 treatments behind me and 11 to go. The sooner I can finish, the better. Also, I'm scheduled for my third cycle of chemotherapy beginning Wednesday. Three days, five hours each day. I want to get it going and get it over with. ...
Between temporarily stopping the radiation treatments and taking the pain killer Roxicet, I'm able to eat. That wasn't the case earlier in the week when I lost 4 pounds. The radiation caused esophagitis, which is pretty wicked. I was able to swallow, but it hurt like crazy once the food and/or water went down. I'm not 100 percent OK, but probably 70 percent. ...
Thanks, Stan, for lifting my spirits today; and thanks Michelle for being a guiding light. I am so blessed to have such good friends. Lisa, you keep me laughing. Thanks Elizabeth. ... I could go on, but I'm sure I'd forget to pat someone on the back and I don't want to cause hurt feelings. EVERYONE should know how much I appreciate your e-mails, cards, calls and prayers. Thank you and may God bless you.

#%*&!!!!

Dammit! That pretty much describes my feelings today. Just dammit. ...
My blood work didn't bring good news at my oncologist today. Low cell counts brought a shot of Neupogen. And I'll need shots tomorrow, Saturday and Sunday. Dammit. My radiation treatments were canceled for today and tomorrow. I was one treatment away from having completed six weeks and getting the scope of treatment narrowed. Dammit. One bit of good news: I'm not anemic. Whoopee. Dammit! ...
I was amazed I wasn't anemic considering my horrible diet of the past week. The Roxicet painkiller has allowed me to eat a bit better the past couple of days, but eating is not without pain. The sooner I can complete radiation (I'm 11 treatments from completion), the sooner I can get over this esophagitis.

Say 'yes' to drugs

"Just say no." Ha! I laugh in your face Nancy Reagan. I say "yes" to drugs, and right now my drug of choice is liquid Roxicet. After four days of basically not being able to eat, I had chicken and rice soup and watermelon tonight ~ thanks to Roxicet. I still can't eat without pain, but I'm getting something in me. I also had some cheesecake, my Valentine's Day present from my wife. Thanks, Lynn. ...
In addition to the esophagitis, the radiation is starting to burn my skin. It is not bad. It looks like my skin does after I cut the grass. Thanks to my brother-in-law Paul, I have some emu oil that keeps my skin moist and is holding down the burning. ...
I guess I've had a lot to complain about lately. I have only two weeks and a day left in radiation. The doctor said the pain will go away when I stop treatment. And starting Friday, the scope of the radiation narrows and will no long hit my esophagus. Hopefully that will help. ...
Joke of the day: On board a flight to Hawaii, the pilot announced, "That thump you heard was our last engine conking out. I'm really sorry to tell you this, but we are going to crash into the ocean." In the stunned silence that followed, an angry voice spoke out. "Dammit! That stupid doctor of mine! He said I was going to die of cancer. He lied!"

Not tonight

The esophagitis has me in too much pain to write tonight. I'll try and catch up tomorrow night. Sorry.

Still in pain

Esophagitis. The radiation treatments finally caught up with me. I have esophagitis, an inflammation of the esophagus. Basically, I can't eat or drink without a lot of pain. It feels like the inside of my chest and stomach are on fire. The radiology folks told me to drink a couple of teaspoons of my "Magic Mouthwash" 20 minutes before meals. I tried it tonight. It didn't work. Therefore, I'm supposed to get some pain medicine tomorrow. I hope it works because I lost 3 pounds between Thursday and today. Not good. ...
I struggled to eat popcorn, bacon, an apple, a piece of raisin bread, ice cream and a few bites of potatoes, carrots and roast beef. I'm feeling weaker than usual because of a lack of food. Hopefully I'll be able to fuel up tomorrow. ...
Thanks for keeping me in your prayers.

Ouch!

The weekend started on a high note. Lots of good news last week; lots of optimism. The weekend ended on a low note. I still have optimism as far as my treatment goes, but I am having horrible trouble eating and drinking. My throat is not sore. I can swallow without any problems. As soon as I swallow, however, a burning sensation comes over my stomach and inside my chest. It is probably related to the radiation treatments. I will talk with the radiology oncologist tomorrow and see if anything can be done. ...
The only things I could eat without pain were popcorn, bacon and ice cream. An odd combination, and I'm afraid those foods don't come anywhere close to covering the basic food groups. I can't even drink water without pain. ...
Let's hope tomorrow truly is a better day.

The weekend ... enjoy

Ah, the weekend. No blood tests, no radiation treatments, no chemotherapy. A time to relax, a time to recuperate, a time for cell regeneration. A time for church, fellowship and friendship. A time for good food, wine and conversation. A time to remember snowcapped mountains, high and low tides. A time to sleep late, a time for dreams. A time to reflect, to pray and be thankful. ...
Have a great weekend, everyone. You are all in my thoughts and prayers. ...
Today's quote: "Today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of this earth." (Lou Gehrig)

It's working!

"I know it's working." That was the word from my radiologist today. Another day of good news! It has been a good week. My confidence is at an all-time high. ...
I finished my 25th radiation treatment today. Five weeks down, three to go. About four to six weeks after I finish radiation therapy we'll take a look and see what's happened to my tumor. For now, the doctor said he is 100 percent confident my treatment is working. This monster in my chest is shrinking. The results of my breathing test prove the treatment is working, he said. ...
Thanks to all who continue to send good thoughts and prayers my way. I'm doing my best not to let you down.

Reporting progress

It was good to report progress yesterday concerning my lung capacity. It seemed like it had been a while since I'd been able to share some really good news. More good news today. A blood test at my oncologist's office showed my white blood cell count holding up. All my blood work came back in the normal range. So it's good to pass along this progress, and it's good to know folks are checking here for good news. Thanks for all your e-mail the past couple of days. ...
Tomorrow is the first day this week I don't have a morning appointment. I plan on sleeping in. Maybe that will help me overcome the tiredness I've been experiencing. ...
The Grammys turned 48 today. In my early teens, few people my age knew of the Grammys. The Academy Awards show was about the only game in town. Now, the awards program runs three and a half hours. Times have changed. A few thoughts about the Grammys: Glad to see U2 and Green Day win ~ they make the best new rock 'n' roll out there today; if John Legend stays true to his music, he'll live up to his name; the Grammys usually put in a plug for music education, but I missed that this year; Trivia question: Which female has won the most Grammys? (Answer below). ...
Quote of the day: "My heroes are the ones who survived doing it wrong, who made mistakes, but recovered from them." (Bono) ...
Trivia answer: Alison Krauss (20)