Signing off with a hint of sadness

I'm thinking this blog is probably coming to an end tonight. ...
Am I glad? In a word: Yes. But there are shades of gray. I'm glad because it means I'm returning to work (Friday) and the monster has been defeated (At least we're 90 percent sure it has been). But I also feel a hint of sadness because of the relationships I've built through this blog. Some of those relationships will continue, others probably won't. ...
There were days over the past five months when one of the few things I had to look forward to was writing this blog. I have shed tears when writing and I have laughed out loud at some of the things I wrote. I wrote through tears of having the odds of survival stacked against me. I laughed at the absurdity of snot rolling toward my lips because I had no nose hair. And one thing I have learned is the old adage of it is better to laugh than to cry. ...
After Thursday, I have no scheduled tests or appointments for three months. If you are interested in knowing the results of my next scan, which won't come until late August or early September, send an e-mail to utvolsno1@att.net and I'll e-mail you when I know something. ...
This blog has been viewed more than 11,500 times since Jan. 1. I wish I could thank each of you individually, but I can't. So I'll just say thanks. I appreciate your prayers. I'm convinced I'm a survivor through the miracles of modern medicine and prayer.

Today was a gift

Today was a good day. Tomorrow will be an even better day. Cherish each day as if your Creator had given it to you as a gift. He has.

Good news!

A quick note to share my good news. My doctor is 90 percent sure I'm cancer free. She can't say 100 percent because some fluid was showing on the lung, but she thinks it was caused by the radiation and chemo treatments. I will have another scan in three months to make sure everything is OK. Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers.

Any hair's good hair

I woke up with "bed hair" today. Never thought I'd brag about that, but I woke up with "bed hair," and that was a good thing. ...
June 1 is my D-Day. By the time many of you read this I will know whether or not I still have cancer. Hopefully many of you have received phone calls from me giving you the good news that the monster has been killed. I know there have been hundreds of people who have shared this journey with me. I thank you for taking the journey and I thank you for your prayers. I hope I'll be able to send good news your way. ...
I watched the Dixie Chicks on "Larry King Live" tonight. I'd say hindsight is in their favor. I'll leave you with some of their words from "Not Ready to Make Nice":
"I'm not ready to make nice, I'm not ready to back down.
"I'm still mad as hell and I don't have time to go round and round and round.
"It's too late to make it right, I probably wouldn't if I could.
" 'Cause I'm mad as hell can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should."

Be still my heart (but not too still)

Nothing earth-shattering out of either of my doctor appointments today. My internist changed my blood pressure medicine. My BP is OK, but she's trying to bring down my heart rate, which hovers around 100. I also got some antibiotics to try and get rid of my cough. As for my blood cell counts, both were fine. I didn't need any booster shots. ...
Now that my treatments are over, I thought I'd be able to get rid of Provigil ~ what I call "pep pills." It is a medicine for narcolepsy that I've been taking for a couple of months because the radiation and chemo left me tired. I haven't taken Provigil for a few days and all I've wanted to do is sleep. I start back on the "pep pills" tomorrow. No way I'd be able to return to work without them. ...
Returning to work, like most things, depends on the results of my PET scan. Just a couple of more days and I get the results. Thank you for praying that the monster has been killed.

Test after test

I have two appointments Tuesday. The day starts with a stop at my internist's office for a check on my cholesterol and blood pressure. In the afternoon is my weekly cell count check. My red and white blood cell counts were OK last week, so I expect the same this week. ...
I'll also get a letter from my internist extending my medical leave for a few days. I hope to be back at work June 9. But that depends on what my PET scan reveals. I get the results Thursday.

Medicine and miracles

I had my PET scan yesterday. Now comes the waiting. I've done everything my doctors asked of me. I had 40 radiation treatments and 51 hours of chemotherapy. I got plenty of rest, took my medicine as prescribed and gained weight to help keep up my strength. I don't really have anything to judge it against, but I think I've received excellent medical care since I was diagnosed. And I know thousands of prayers on my behalf have been received. ...
If I have been cured of cancer ~ and I think I have been ~ it is because of a combination of the miracle of modern medicine and the miracle of prayer. This whole experience has been humbling. I'll know the results of the scan Thursday. Until then, I'm sure God is still accepting prayers on my behalf.

Shades of gray

I got my hair cut today. OK, it was sort of a haircut. Mandy, my "stylist," clipped the hair around my ears and shaved the hair on my neck. For me, that's a haircut. She confirmed what I thought: Much of my hair is coming back gray. Mandy said it is common for chemo patients to have their hair come back gray or red. It also would be common, she said, for my natural hair color to eventually come back. I just told her I was happy to have hair. "Chemo curl" is another possibly, but my hair is not long enough yet to know if it will curl. ...
My PET scan is a few hours away. It is the second most important scan I've had. The first was to determine whether or not my cancer had spread beyond my lung. It had not. This one is to determine if the radiation and chemo has killed the cancer. Please cross your fingers and pray it is dead. Thanks.

Pedal to the metal

I rode my bicycle for a third consecutive day. It isn't getting any easier. I'm going to stick with it though, and pretty soon I'll have the strength to ride outside my subdivision. Hard to believe I used to ride my bike to elementary school, probably about a three- or four-mile trip. ...
Each day I try and remember to pray for peace throughout the world and for the victims of war, famine and natural disasters. Please join me today in saying a special prayer for the people of Sudan and the Congo

Ya gotta have faith

My PET scan is Friday. I'm nervous. I know a lot of folks are praying for me. I'm trying to have faith that the results will be in my favor. Physically, I feel fine except for a nagging cough. But a nagging cough is what alerted doctors to the fact I had/have cancer. Faith. Nothing is stronger than faith. ...
"Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." (John 20:29)